Life is Short!!! Never Give Up!!! Live Each Day!!!

today

Sittin here listenin to Eminem. Just finished payin bills. Yeah!! Paid and Broke all in the same day. But there paid guess that is all that matters.

Well the windows are fully installed. Mike has some exterior and interior trim work and lots of paintin outside. As for the inside trim were thinkin of goin back to stained wood trim rather than white that could turn yellow again. Plus now we have to decide how we are gonna cover the inside. Mike hates miniblinds I hate curtains so right now its sheets. Till we finish this decision which could be a month.

Got a lot of housework I’ve been avoidin so I’m gettin movin.

Where am I???

Well all the furniture has been moved. But it will take me a month to get everything else back in place. The new TV is GREAT!!! Merry Christmas to my Hubby. I got a GH and he got windows and a TV. All the plants are in the GH but I have alot of work to do with them. First I need proper shelves. Then I will repot and clean up and sort out the mess. I have all Spring to worry about that problem. First I want my home back in some type of order.

As for the windows well we put the first one in yesterday and I love it but we have alot more work ahead of us. We basically have to remove 2 inches of the interior windowsill and sheetrock. Once we get the interior and exterior trim put back up and painted it will be perfect. Mike worked all day yesterday to get the window sill and frame where it would hold this window. We are replacin the 30 yr old windows with Argon gas filled double pane glass. When the job is complete I should not hear the Damn Dog next door bark bark bark all frakkin day. I HATE THAT DOG!!!

Anyway, I heard my owls last nite. This all started last Spring, I heard an owl then I started hearin 2 owls and then as it got hotter they were gone. All Summer no owls. Then about 2 months ago I could hear just the male but no female. Then last nite I finally heard the female. They were doin the matin call to each other and it was so Beautiful to listen to them. I wake up every mornin at 5AM, and this mornin was no different. Since the trim is off the back windows I could hear my male owl in the bedroom. So I got up and made coffee sat down on the couch next to the window and listened to the owls talkin to each other for over an hour.  But the male owl had added a note to his song and the female really seemed to like that cause she responded to him everytime.

It is an incredible sound to hear them sing to each other. I even bought a bird identifying book so I could figure out what type of owls they were last Spring. Accordin to their song (cause I’ve never actually seen them) the owls are Great Horned owls. “Male usually utters five or six resonant hoots: hu-hu-hu-hu, Hoo! Hoo!. Then the Female’s hoots slightly higher pitched then the Male’s in a shorter sequence.”  And this is exactly what I hear every mornin comin from the pine trees behind our house. I’m pretty sure they are nestin back there durin the day but I cant find them. 

I have actually fallen asleep with the sonic ear still in listenin to the owls. Its become a comfort to listen to the owls. I will miss them when they leave in the Summer and await their return in the Fall. They are just incredible little creatures.

I also have 3 Monarch Caterpillers we are feedin and tryin to keep warm on the “Butterfly Weed” that I planted this Spring. Cant wait till they hatch from their Pupas. There is also a baby tree frog livin in my plants that I keep makin mad by movin the plants, but he is now in the GH safe and warm.

There is also a pair of Texas Skinks livin in our backyard. I wouldnt let Mike move the flagstone after we found the female still livin under the flagstone. These 2 skinks have been around this yard since we moved into this house. The first time I saw the male was the first summer we lived here. There he was on the wall of my house sunnin himself. The neighbor’s kids came over and rang my doorbell cause they didnt know what was crawlin up my house. The next time we saw them was after Hurricane Ike came thru and I had to move the flagstones cause the tree fell and took out the fence next to the flagstones. Before the hurricane, both the male and the female had taken refuge under the stones. But after we moved the stones they both took off. Well the little female came back but we havent seen the male since. And she is right where we found her. Mike just put the stone back into place. I keep liftin it to check on her (I know she really appreciates me watchin out for her) and she stayed in her nest that she had dug out from under the flagstone. Happy and warm. I just wonder where my little male went.

Anyway, as you can tell I just love little critters. Last winter we had a possum livin under the shed. Every evenin she would come out and go out for the nite and every mornin she would come back. Well last Winter we also had 3 male cats hangin around messin with Mitzy so I set out cat traps. Well I caught the possum by mistake (possums love cat food) and when I went out there to see what we had caught she was layin on her back feedin 2 babies. Needless to say, I let her go and over the fence into the backyard and under the shed she went. Well this pissed my hubby off “No Possum is livin under my shed.” So Mike puts up chicken wire on 3 sides of the shed. I walk out into the backyard to realize he has now made it safer for the possum. Mike had to dig a hole so the possum could get out on the backside of the shed. Well after much arguin and with my protection she raised her babies and moved on in the Spring. She hasnt returned to our shed for this winter, which is probably a good thing, not sure Mike could stand a second winter of the possum under the shed.

But now we have a raccoon that comes by every nite just to visit. Seems we are on the list for good places to score cat food. I also have bird feeders out for all the little birdies to come and eat. This of course attracts the squirrels for the cats to chase. Buddy almost caught one the other day. Cant wait for that treat. Summer b4 last, Mitzy caught and brought me 4 hummingbirds. Luckily she didnt hurt them, she just wanted to play with them. Mitzy would come runnin in the backdoor and let them go and of course they would fly all over the inside of the house till I could catch them and release them outside.  Ever tried to catch a hummer??? It aint easy but just remember turn the fan off first. Then catch the hummer. It was so neat holdin those tiny birds in my hands makin sure no blood or unusual holes in their feathers. Then releasin them was like settin a little piece of my soul free each time.

Of course Mitzy didnt like me lettin them go but she doesnt get a say when it comes to the birds. This summer we never saw a single Hummer between June and September. It was really strange. Normally we have hundreds of hummers all summer long, but not this summer. They came by in the Spring and then came thru for the Fall and that was all we got this year.

Kinda like the honeybees. We had honeybees come thru in late March and then none all summer. Then just last week I found 2, one in the shed all by hisself and then one in the kitchen. They both seemed sluggish and kinda lost. I caught both of them and moved them to the plants. The one in the shed was in danger of gettin stepped on but it would not fly no matter what I did. The one in the kitchen finally flew when I put back outside. It worries me for my children and grandchildren, the damage have we done to this planet in the last 100 years. And we are continuing to do the damage. I’ve seen nothin get better in my life only worse.

But “I Brake for Butterflies” is still my motto. Do as little harm as I can to what I own and can control.

Update to Past

Here are the names I could not remember last Friday.

Great-Grandfather married to Donnis was named Hiron Wilson Stroud.

Grandmother Betty ‘s full name :  Betty Ellen Stroud

GM Betty: maiden name was Stroud she married Cleo Austin then divorced him to marry Harvy Lee then divorced HarvyL and married CleoA then left CleoA wnt back to HarvyL and then left for Texas with HarvyL. divorced HarvyL for Bill Allison. Which turns out Bill Allison after he died we found out was not his real name. He had dodged the draft and changed his name when he went to Canada but never changed it back after he came back to the states. We are not sure what his real name was even now. We found a last name but dont know if that is even his real name. Weird huh…

My Step-Dad, Dwight, found out after his mother died that the man his mom was married to all her life was not his father. That she had left her husband once and got pregnant by another man. Then she went back to her husband and had the baby (Dwight) which her husband raised as his own. He might have thought it was his baby, we dont know and never will now.

My X husband thought our second child was not his baby. Even had a blood DNA test done after we were divorced to confirm he was the Father. Guess what all 4 of my children were his. I wonder, exactly what was my X gonna do with our son if he had not been his child??? Give him to the state? Give him back to me? Which would have made me Extremely Happy. Who knows how that man thinks? He’s a complete nutcase. More on him later.

Anyway I will continue when I have more time with the rest of my story.

PRESENT

OK Its Monday and I slept till noon tryin to recover from workin “my fanny off” all weekend. But the GH looks GREAT!!! It now has water piped into the GH. So that I dont have to pull a hose across the yard, just turn it on right inside. Then Mike built me a step-up deck right in front of the GH, so I wont trip walkin in and out of the GH. Yesterday we built the form and concreted it into place. Today, when he gets home from work, he will attach the top boards. Next he wants to build the shelves and then the electrical for lights and heat. When Mike gets done with this GH, someone could live in it. But I can say that I have the GREATEST GH in Spring TX.

I dont know if I mentioned this, but last month our house furnace stopped workin. Of course we didnt know that it had stopped workin until it was 35 degrees outside. I had turned it on several times already this Fall and it had worked fine. But then the week B4 Thanksgiving the stupid thing stopped workin. Called out my repair guy. He shows up and it works jut fine. I explain to him that it only “not works” when the temp outside drops below about 50 degrees. If it warms up outside the damn thing kicks on. I pay him $85 and he leaves. OK next cold front NO HEATER!!!

So I call some friends borrow space heaters. Get thru Thanksgiving with space heaters. Call repair guy back out. His dad comes out and looks at the unit and it works fine. I explain that it only works when its warm outside. If it gets cold outside it wont come on. He leaves but no payment. A week of this bak and forth goes by and finally we have a day where it stays cold all day and doesnt warm up outside. So repair guy and his dad comes out and sure enough the Frakkin thing wont work. The dad figures out finally that its the motherboard. Replaces motherboard and puts in a digital thermostat. HEATER WORKS!!! I paid him another $300 and its still workin.

Then the next week the TV in the living room just goes to a black screen. OK!! TV is only 6 years old. And we paid $1300 for the damn thing. I call the cable company after I make sure I’ve paid the cable bill. Nope not cable or cable box, its the TV. FRAK FRAK FRAK!!!! So I look up TVs, only to find out that the TV we paid $1300 is now $400. Mike thinks about this for a few days and he decides we need a bigger TV. Well the entertainment center will not hold a bigger TV screen. So he comes up with movin the ET center into the Master bedroom where the dresser is then the dresser where the bookshelf is and the bookshelf into the back bedroom/office. I’m thinkin Great sounds like alot of work bc the TV broke to me.

Sure enough he left this mornin askin if I was moving the BS today and I said well there is a COUCH in the way I have to call Purple Heart about first then I can move the BS so you can move the dresser and someone has to empty all the books out of the ET center B4 it will move anywhere. AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

When does it end???   Oh wait I know this one. When I’m dead. But anyway so this week he and I are movin furniture for the new TV he wants to go get this week.

Next week a Great Friend of ours, Jim, is comin to stay with us till Mike and him get the windows installed. We ordered new windows for the back of the house so that we could get the money back on our taxes this year. The windows arrived last Thursday. Mike also tells me that dependin on the way those windows are made I might lose my inside windowsill. I just looked at him and said so what else is new??? It seems that every project we have ever started on this house turned into a scene from that movie “The Money Pit”. So Pray to the House Repair Gods I dont lose my window siles Please!!!

I’ll keep you posted…

Life story the beginnin

Me-Theresa Lynn

My Mother-Theresa Diane

My Grandmother-Betty

My Great-Grandmother-Donnis

For this part of my Life you will need to know who the above people are in that order or it gets real confusing.

I was born April 10th 1969 in the mornin in Jonesboro, LA. My mother had been in labor for 3 days when I finally came out, the cord had been around my neck, and bc of that I was born “blue”. This is long b4 medical improvements in a backwoods Louisiana hospital which was probably stuck in the 1950s in 1969. So I had Blue fingers and toes, the docs didnt knw, I had no oxygen till it was almost too late. But I guess I was suppose to be here cause I made it no problems.

My mother had married a man twice her age when she was just 19 and then got pregnant right away. It was a mentally and physically abusive relationship from the start. She left my birth father when I was 6 wks old, she moved in with her grandparents. My mom had a frakked up childhood. When she was 5, her mother Betty ran off and left her and her sister (Aunt Dana) with her parents Donnis and Papa Stroud. Betty had also married young to an abusive man. Divorced him (Cleo Austin) after she had my mom Diane. Then married a different man (??) left him, went back to Diane’s dad Cleo. She then remarried him and had Dana. Then she left him again to go with the second guy she had married and divorced to Texas.

Thats where the story gets strange. Best we can tell Betty and the TX guy get into some trouble and both end up doin prison time. After Betty got out she went to CA. In CA she met and married her 3rd husband, Bill Allison, who she stayed married to the rest of her life. And his, he died of a broken heart a year after she died.  

Anyway, so my mom Diane grew up thinkin her Grandparents were her parents and that her Mother was her Aunt. My mom went to college for one yr b4 she got married and had me. She never went back and now works for an answering service where she barely makes over minimum wage. She survives on the inheritance she was left by Betty and Bill and her Grandmom Donnis. Otherwise she would be livin with me.

Back to me born Blue but otherwise healthy. My mom went to work for the telephone company and a doctors office while she lived with her Grandparents who stayed home and took care of me. They were both retired already. I remember Papa takin me to his part time job as a janitor for a school when I was little. It is one of the few memories I have of him. The school and him in the back garden plantin and harvestin veges. Mama and Papa did not buy store veges till Papa got too sick with lung cancer and couldnt work the garden. I remember chickens that we would raise and a pig for the summer. They didnt just go to the store they survived off the land and their own hard work.

I do have a memory durin this time of one thing that I still dream about. When I was probably 2, my mom had bought this brand new car. The floor mats were White, so when they got dirty my mom would put them in the bathtub and scrub them. Well I wondered into the bathroom while the mats were soakin in soap, bleach and Scaldin HOT water (b4 Hot water heaters had safety levels) and looked over the edge of this old cast iron bathtub, well as u know 2 yr olds are top heavy and over the edge into the water I went head first. When they got me out and took me to the hospital the docs put me in a tub of ICE water to try and bring my body temp down. I was lucky I didnt drown but Mama heard the splash and immediate scream and came runnin. I had only first degree burns over 100% of my body. Not to mention the soap and bleach in my eyes, sinuses and mouth. Again I end up fine after a few days.

My mom and I stayed with Mama and Papa till I was 3, when she met and married the only DAD I will ever know. He was in accountin and he did it mainly for construction. So we followed the Booms. Whenever a city or area was buildin alot of new buildins or homes we moved there. I never went to the same school for more then a yr till I was in middle school.

My Mom marries Dwight and he immediatly moves us to a small town in southern LA, near New Orleans. Here the only memories I have is First, sittin in a beanbag and stickin a bobby pin into an electrical outlet, then flyin across the room cause the force shot the beanbag across the carpet like a sleigh on snow. Second, bein dared by older children to stand on this pile of dirt. (I had never seen a fireant bed) then watchin the bugs crawl up my feet onto my pants and then the stingin and the burnin. I ran back to my parents apartment and my mom threw me in the bathtub but it was too late. I was covered head to toe in fireant bites. Again I survive both incidents with little damage.

Next we move to Wilmington Delaware. I went to kindergarten. My mom had my brother Bobby and I got my first belt wippin. I had gone over to a friends apartment without tellin my parents. We were watchin sumthin on tv just bein kids. But when my Daddy found me I got the beatin of my childhood. I behaved pretty good for a long time after that. Till I was 12 anyway.

Shortly after my brother was born, we moved to Corpus Christi, TX. I finished out my kindergarten in a private school. Went to 1st grade and the first few months of 2nd grade at a Catholic School. And “Yes! Nuns really did slap my hands with rulers when we got in trouble”. The only things I remember is my first wasp sting. Cause I used to like to catch bugs in jars. (Sumthin Mama taught me and I still do) And I thought I had hit the jackpot a whole nest of bugs, so I put the jar over the entire nest and slammed the lid. Well a few didnt get trapped in the jar and they were MAD. Chased me all the way home again, I had 6 or 7 stings on my hands and back. Other then that I remember bein a loner in school, no friends by 2nd grade. Just me even at playtime durin school. I already had no use for people when we were just gonna move away and I would never see them again.

And sure enough a few months into 2nd grade we moved to Cleveland, TX. My Dad had bought an old fishin cabin on a lake, East of Cleveland off the Trinity River. We moved in there and I attended the rest of 2nd and all of 3rd. Since we stayed here the longest I had 3 friends from school. And 2 friends that came up in the summers and on holiday weekends. I loved it there!!! I loved the lake just off the back of the property and the woods all around us. It was Paradise for me as a Tomboy growin up almost alone. I remember bein sick alot when we lived there, ear infections and stomach viruses all the time. But I still loved it there.

My favorite memory is when I caught a water moccasin in a large jar. I took it to my mom I was so proud I had caught that snake. Well she freaked out when she realized what it was but never figured out how I caught him without gettin bit by him. I got grounded from catchin critters. And she started buyin me animal books so I could learn what wasnt safe to catch.

Up to this point I had collected rocks from everywhere I had been in my short life. It was a huge box of rocks and my mom would not let me keep them cause they attracted bugs. I remember cryin about havin to pour out my rocks in the backyard by the steps. It broke my heart to have to get rid of those rocks. Its funny to me how the human mind remembers mostly to bad things that happened to us but now I realize that rememberin the bad things is what helps you survive life. Rememberin the good is what makes life worth livin but the bad memories keep you alive.

Summer after 3rd grade we moved to Trinidad. Another Paradise!!!! It was beautiful and there were big lizards and frogs and all kinds of bugs I’d never seen b4. I had a blast. We lived in there really nice apartments in the mountains. When it would rain waterfalls would start comin off the mountains it was just incredible. We didnt stay long I started the 4th grade in a private school cause there were no public schools. The country didnt like what the company my dad worked for was doin there was some type of disagreement. We were placed in a hotel for a month for our protection cause the natives were killin and kidnappin the employees. It was Great for the kids we didnt know what was goin on just that we had these huge pools and all the room service you could eat.

The main thing that happened to me here, was I almost drowned. My mom was goin out to a party so she was all dressed up with her makeup on and jewelry. She had promised to let us play in the pool for 20 mins b4 they left. Well I didnt know how to swim but I knew how to float. I was floatin out into the deep end of the pool and when I went to put my feet down there was no bottom. I panicked and started breathin water. Needless to say my mom jumped in and saved me but was late to the party cause she had to get re-ready.

When we got settled back in the states she sent me to the YMCA for swimmin lessons.

We came back to the states and stayed in a hotel in Birmingham, AL for over a month while the company decided where to send my dad for his next job. And we ended up in Cleveland, TN. I attended my 4th grade yr and got full credit even though I only attened the second half of the yr. I could pass the tests so the school didnt hold me back eventhough I had missed the first 4 months.

I remember too much from this time of my life this is where it started fallin apart. My mom found out that my dad had been havin an affair with my Aunt Linda. Now A Linda is my dad’s younger brother’s 2nd wife. (at that time) At the tender age of 10 I didnt know or understand but I remember the fightin and the cryin.

This is also the time in my life where I was molested by an older girl. She lived next door to us. I believe now she was just doin to me what her father was doin to her. But I didnt even know I was bein molested. People didnt talk about that kinda stuff with their kids and you didnt hear anyone talkin about it happenin to them it was all hush hush. I never told my mom and dad. It was our secret the girl always said. And I was a teenager when I realized what had happened to me.

I need to add that every summer my mom sent me and my brother (when he was old enough) to Mama and Papa’s house in Winnfield, LA. I joke about bein sent for harvest season to do all the work but now I realize I learned alot from my Great-Grandparents. I learned hard work pays off. Everything has value nothin is worthless. Love is the most important thing in life. As a kid I never realized why mom sent us there but now I know. Without those summers in Winnfield I would be a very different person.

Friday break day b4 weekend!!!

Well the GH is 99% complete!!! Mike had a tooth pulled and it went BADLY!!! So he stayed home yesterday and completed the GH. Now all thats left is running the water line and electrical for heat and a light. I’m so excited!!!! Havent put plants in yet. Mike wants the plastic shelves that are expensive. I think cinder blocks and 2x6s would work for me. Have figured out the hangin plant system thanks to ”ole Charlie” our PVC pipe 3rd person we constructed to help rebuild the back of the house.

I’m so EXCITED!!!! For the First time in my life I have a REAL GH!!! not a 2x4 plastic sheeting lean to a REAL GH!!!! I can grow orchids or african violets or cacti all kinds of things I could not grow here bc of the winters and gods awful summers. And Mike says I NEED to grow VEGETABLES???  HHHMMM not what I was thinkin at all but ok now I need the back 40 tilled up to grow VEGETABLES!!!  Cause yeah I can start the veges in the GH but after last frost they need to be in the ground in full sun. I’m so confused. Well at least he hasnt brought any chickens home and put them in a playpen in the kitchen!!!

The kids packages for GA went out this mornin, they will get them b4 Xmas. The Cards are still here havent finished them yet, was suppose to do them yesterday but with Mike home workin on the GH I got nothin else done. My Baby girl says she is freezin so I sent her 2 purple blankets that were just takin up space in my linen closet. Recently found out my oldest boy was taken out of college, cant quit thinkin this is the time I should just go get him and bring him home. But I worry then that my Baby boy would be left in the NUT house alone without someone to run interference. IDK… not even sure I could help him and to have to send him back would only devastate him more.

I just keep wishin the phone would ring and it would be LM or G sayin “Come get us Mom!” That is all I need to hear I’m on my way. But until that is said I’m stuck in limbo wonderin wishin cryin screamin over my kids. It boggles my mind how any father could treat his kids like slaves and still tell them he loves them. Not to mention the drama queen.

Ya know I have 2 step kids that were teenagers when I moved in with Mike. I never once, no matter how mean they were to me, was intentionally mean to them. I just dont get it, when you marry a man with kids you must LOVE the kids and treat them as ur own. At least that is what I thought was the unwritten rule, do we need to pass a law. It would probably fall under child abuse, gods knw at times what they have done to my kids was and is child abuse!!!

Probably should get off that subject since I could rant all day about my X and his wife. Hell I dont think she even likes 2 of her own kids.

SUNDAY MORNIN AND WE ARE BOTH STILL ALIVE!!!

I dk what I expected I k I’m still married to the same man. The PERFECTIONIST when it comes to ALL THINGS DONE BY MIKE!!! After much arguin (our special language) and discussion. The greenhouse (GH) has all but 1 cinderblock (CB) unburied and 2 CBs full of concrete. Today, if we can finish buryin the last CB and finish pourin concrete the base is complete. Next step is attachin the 2x6s to the cemented in the ground CBs.

As usual when Mike is done with the GH it will be almost indestructible. I still consider hidin in the shed durin tornados and hurricanes. The table that he built me for replantin could support over 150 lbs probably if I wanted to test it out. At least I know when he builds somethin its gonna last a long time. And it will take an ACT OF GODS to tear it up.

When we built the shed, the neighbor had a dead pine tree. That we kept lookin at and wonderin, which way is that dead tree gonna fall, if she didnt have it taken down. Well as usual in this world, the neighbor never had it taken down. We finished the shed. Its GREAT!!! The best shed ever built in my opinion. And within completion the frakkin tree falls PERFECTLY on the top of our shed. BC of MIKE’S PERFECTION.  The only damage to the shed is a hole where one branch stabbed thru the deckin and some damage to the shingles. He fixed it in a weekend and the lady gave us cash on the damages. The hole can still b seen from the inside just look up and to the left towards the back and you can see where it came thru.

It will be there forever. And I know that if I see a tornado I’m grabbin the cats and getin in that shed!!!

Well time to go to work…tell more later…Gods I miss my babies!!!

YESTERDAY!!!

Could not sleep the nite b4 fell asleep at 5AM (gotta love Fentanyl) so did nt get up till 10 AM. Great needed to drive halfway across town bc I had to purchase the windows for the back of the house or Mike was gonna kill me. Well at least it warmed up outside frost on the ground at 5AM.

Get in car and drive to Walgreens, cop in parkin lot so I turn down the music, and OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT FKD UP NOISE?!?!?!?!?!? And is it really comin from my car???? So go in drop off prscptns from the day b4. Go back out to car crank it and realize NOISE is comin from steerin. So first thing I think is probably Power Steering Pump $300. Yeah!!! I must place order for windows in person cant do it by phone or internet or it would already be done!!! Call Mike and Marie let them know car may not make it home (Thank You for Cell Phones and AAA).

So I proceed to drive all the way across town, about 20 miles in Htn traffic at lunch hour, with a possible bad power steerin pump. Have you ever lost ur Pwr Strg Pmp? Well most people cant turn the wheels without it;). All I kept thinkin is please make it there.

I notice on the freeway that noise is gettin better not as loud as b4 at Walgreens. Maybe when it warms up it works better. (btw I did at least check the fluid b4 I left walgrns) Hell this worked for the heater at the house for 2 wks!!! Every time it got above 60 degrees outside the heater kicked on. LOL HAHAHAHAHA!!! explain that to the HVAC guy.

So I make it to the window place, go in order the windows. I’m there maybe 30 mins. Come back out, get in car, start engine, and turn the wheels and OMG!!!!  THE NOISE IS NOW THE WORST I HAVE HEARD IT SO FAR. So I decide my straightest route, home fewest turns would be best. I’m now goin to the auto repair shop across the street from our subdivision. Which is 20 miles back basically.

I cant believe it, the noise gets better on the way back towards home and help. But I’m at least gonna have it looked at by a mechanic. I’m not that stupid sumthn is makin alot of racket when I first start drivin the car. Take it to auto shop. Walk around outside in the smkrs area, just knowin, another $300. Out the window WRITE IT OFF!!! I must have a car in Htn. (dont know how my girls get around without one sometimes) OK worst case is car sits till I get paid.

Mechanic comes out with a smile on his face, OH SHIT!!!  ITS $500!!! GREAT!!!

He says let me show you sumthin (well I’m almost to tears) follow him out to car. And he starts with you see this boot right here over your CV joint and Ujoint and all this shit I’m not fully hearin or understandin. All I knw is that, fixin that part of a car is NOT cheap ($1000 and the tears start) He says no no nothin needs fixin. Its just the cold weather makin the rubber boot make a creakin noise that just sounds bad in the steering. I proceed to grab the guy and hug him!!!! Tears flowin and all!!! He starts laughin and says BUT have you seen this over here?? (OH NO HERE IT COMES) Your transmission is leakin really bad. I’m like is that all, Hell this car’s trans has leaked since I bought it. I just keep trans fluid, a funnel and a dirty rag in the trunk. He says well you know that for less than $100 we can stop that leak.

I FREAK THE FK OUT!!! The last mechanic we used told me $300 would stop the leak!!!! So I tell him I can bring it back in the mornin. On the way home I realize we would better afford to do that next week when I get paid. I mean its been leakin for 10 yrs whats another week. I get home and call them back and schedule it for next Wednesday.

Then remember I didnt go back to get my prscrptns from Wlgns where this story started. Back in car goto Home Depot (weedkiller) and Wlgrns, come back home.

What a long stressful BS day. And I still have to make Mike dinner. Asleep by 9PM. Wake up at 3AM. Gotta love this!!! Time for new Fentanyl patch!!!

First Post

Salvato appointment today. V drove. Put back on antibiotics. Finally got the heater fixed and my new 8’ x 12’ Greenhouse arrived. Life has been extrememly expensive lately and still need to finish Christmas shopping.

Soon to be starting my 17th year still positive for Lyme Disease. Had a negative test back in September of 2010. Stopped taking the antibiotics for 8 weeks. Tested positive for Lyme after being off the antibiotics so doc thought it best to start them back. Pretty sure I will be spending the rest of my life on the pills.

Felt pretty good today but it is day one of a new pain patch. Tomorrow I hope to go get the new windows for the back of the house ordered. I have a few simple errands to run also but that is my main job.

Mike broke a tooth last nite so now he is scheduled for Monday. After spending over $400 in the last 2 months on my teeth now they hurt worse then ever. Dentist says its just trama from the fillings and should get better over time. He better be right or I’m yankin them all out and gettin dentures now. Still have to either get 3 teeth crowned or have them pulled. All depends on how much more money I want to spend on my mouth. Havent decided yet figured I would wait till after the first of the new year to see how things are goin around here.

We ordered the greenhouse as our Christmas to each other. Of course the day after we ordered it the heater stopped workin. So been without heat for 2 weeks except for little borrowed electric room heaters. But it finally got fixed today! Thank the gods for friends in the HVAC business or I would still be usin the electric heaters.

I dont know why its really bothering me lately that my youngest daughter is legally homeless in GA. Wish she and her sis and her bros would just move over here with us. But since they all did really well in high school they are usin their hope grants to attend college. Maybe someday when they all finish their educations then we will have my family back over here with us where they belong!!

I know its just the holiday blues I get them every year but this year is worse then the last few. Its been almost 3 years since my oldest daughter called me and came back into my life. Soon followed by her sis and bros. ( I have 4 kids) I know if they were closer I could help them more but they need their education worse then I need them close to me.

Just keep fightin to stay alive and healthy, because I know the day will come and my kids will move home to Texas to start havin Grand Babies. Cant wait for little ones to spoil rotten and teach how to irritate their parents. Just a few more years…tie a bigger knot in the rope and hang on tight. Its already been “One Hell of a Long Ride” and I’m sure This Trip is No Where Near Bein ”There Yet”!!!